June 2010
21 posts
Statue porn! How low will they go!?
Can I just say, anyone who buys one of these is one sad, pathetic, lonely fuck.
Here's 7 pictures of women who're going to be in...
Ashcraft is all over this shit. Kotaku once again highlights the intellectual capacity of its writers and readers with this display of pornography.
But it’s OK! This is loosely linked to videogames so it doesn’t matter! Just carry on posting your tabloid, lowest common denominator shit and watch the masses lap it up.
Over 10,000 hits can’t be wrong!
Snorlax... videogames... something...
This dress has some lines on it that resemble Snorlax.
Or, just an excuse to show pictures of women for your fapping needs. Keep up the good work, guys!
Yet more Kotaku statue porn
Imagine walking into someone’s house and seeing rows upon rows of these statues on somebody’s shelf.
Tell me you wouldn’t be totally creeped out.
Oh, and if you want an idea of the sort of people who buy this crap; from the comments:
i wouldn’t mind going into her abyss! heyooooo
Charming.
Shock Horror: Ashcraft posts pictures of skinny...
This is a thing that happened.
Why does he think any of us care?
Star Wars Corsets? OHFORFU-
Sigh.
Darth Vadar and Stormtropper corsets.
As in, a corset in black and white with a few buttons on it. VIDEOGAMES.
Don’t go into the comments if you want to remain clean. Sweaty nerds can’t contain themselves.
Yes, Kotaku... well, you know
Just think, this is someone’s job. They get paid money, actual money, for this.
Oh yeah, and this has something to do with videogames.
“Kotaku, the gamer’s guide”
What. The. Fuck?
These, and I don’t give a fuck what you say, are children.
I’m not being jokey, or snarky here:
This is seriously not right. Kotaku is posting drawings of nude children. I don’t give a fuck that they’re “not real” and “nobody really got hurt”. They’re children. CHILDREN.
Thanks, the ever awesome, GameJournos.
PSA: Kotaku Porn has a new URL
http://kotakuporn.tumblr.com/
Much easier to remember than before.
…
Oh, and err, Kotaku sucks.
Kotaku loses its mind: Gets to report about porn
Some idiot company tried to get porn on the PS3. Kotaku wants to act like a bunch of fucking 10 years-old chavs and use “penetrate” in the title.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YOU’RE SO FUNNY.
Once you’ve stopped laughing at that AMAZINGJOKE, notice the porn DVD cover they’ve graced us with.
So yes, today they are literally posting porn.
You twats.
Kardashian? Isn't that an alien from Star Trek?
No?
Well, anyway.
Apparently whoever this is, might be Lara Croft in anew movie.
Just so you can appreciate her acting ability, here’s a picture of her cleavage.
Well done, Kotaku. You just proved Fox News right
Ever seen that video where Geoff Keighley defends Mass Effect’s sex scenes as not the focus of the game and argues they’re not “sex games” but scenes that work to compliment the storyline?
Well Kotaku just disregarded his entire argument and gave Fox News a big win by posting “Skip Alpha Protocol’s Foreplay, Go Right To The Sex.”
This video shows just...
A game ripped off a book's characters... or...
It’s hard to come up with humorous post for every single piece of shite Kotaku posts, so shut up and look intently at these images and pretend you’re not a sad fuck who needs to surround himself with completely unrealistic depictions of the opposite sex.
Kotaku, on the cutting edge of erotic Wii games
In this game, you massage people:
After massages are performed correctly, players are presented with images of the female clients in various poses (e.g., lounging on a beach in a bikini, playing golf while wearing a short skirt and a cleavage-bearing top, or straddling a motorcycle). Players can also move the camera and zoom in on the reward pictures.
Utterly classy, as I’m sure...
Spot the difference. Or just jack off to the...
A woman with red hair looks like another woman with red hair.
This is the basis for this entire post. Great work, folks.
Oh dear, Kotaku is publishing porn: This is...
People get attracted by this I can assume? School girls. Doesn’t sound illegal or absolutely fucking creepy at all.
Thanks, Kotaku.
Ashcraft continues his attack on intelligence with...
Apparently the fapping masses want porn in 3D. So, in order to further that pointKotaku has chucked up some pictures of naked Japanese girls.
Ashcraft then lists some of the “stars” that could occupy your pathetic 3D sessions. Note how he picks some of films that they’ve populated.
The voice of experience perhaps?
"Hey guys, reckon I can post this on our gaming...
This is a picture of Mila Jovovich “wet with guns”.
Take a good look at the image, then read the accompanying 35 WORDS, which has been tagged onto this post to justify its existence.
Can’t you just hear videogame journalism growing into a more respectable industry? Oh no, that was it throwing up all over itself.
THQ is hiring boothbabes. Kotaku is all over that...
THQ is hiring boothbabes.
THIS IS NEWS, APPARENTLY.
Is aid to this, Luke has given us a totally use relevant picture of a woman holding a hammer. THANKS, LUKE.
Yep, Kotaku is publishing porn: This doesn't have...
After a weekend of barely any porn, just like clockwork Kotaku is back to its old, and rather desperate tricks.
Here, we have a post about an iPhone app that looks at the mocked up underwear of celebrities. Why on earth you’d want to do this I don’t know (perhaps because you’re a lonely fuck with a pathetic need for any sort of female interaction?) but more puzzling is why...