June 2010
21 posts
Statue porn! How low will they go!?
Can I just say, anyone who buys one of these is one sad, pathetic, lonely fuck.
Here's 7 pictures of women who're going to be in...
Ashcraft is all over this shit. Kotaku once again highlights the intellectual capacity of its writers and readers with this display of pornography.
But it’s OK! This is loosely linked to videogames so it doesn’t matter! Just carry on posting your tabloid, lowest common denominator shit and watch the masses lap it up.
Over 10,000 hits can’t be wrong!
Snorlax... videogames... something...
This dress has some lines on it that resemble Snorlax.
Or, just an excuse to show pictures of women for your fapping needs. Keep up the good work, guys!
Yet more Kotaku statue porn
Imagine walking into someone’s house and seeing rows upon rows of these statues on somebody’s shelf.
Tell me you wouldn’t be totally creeped out.
Oh, and if you want an idea of the sort of people who buy this crap; from the comments:
i wouldn’t mind going into her abyss! heyooooo
Charming.
Shock Horror: Ashcraft posts pictures of skinny...
This is a thing that happened.
Why does he think any of us care?
Star Wars Corsets? OHFORFU-
Sigh.
Darth Vadar and Stormtropper corsets.
As in, a corset in black and white with a few buttons on it. VIDEOGAMES.
Don’t go into the comments if you want to remain clean. Sweaty nerds can’t contain themselves.
Yes, Kotaku... well, you know
Just think, this is someone’s job. They get paid money, actual money, for this.
Oh yeah, and this has something to do with videogames.
“Kotaku, the gamer’s guide”
What. The. Fuck?
These, and I don’t give a fuck what you say, are children.
I’m not being jokey, or snarky here:
This is seriously not right. Kotaku is posting drawings of nude children. I don’t give a fuck that they’re “not real” and “nobody really got hurt”. They’re children. CHILDREN.
Thanks, the ever awesome, GameJournos.
PSA: Kotaku Porn has a new URL
http://kotakuporn.tumblr.com/
Much easier to remember than before.
…
Oh, and err, Kotaku sucks.
Kotaku loses its mind: Gets to report about porn
Some idiot company tried to get porn on the PS3. Kotaku wants to act like a bunch of fucking 10 years-old chavs and use “penetrate” in the title.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA YOU’RE SO FUNNY.
Once you’ve stopped laughing at that AMAZINGJOKE, notice the porn DVD cover they’ve graced us with.
So yes, today they are literally posting porn.
You twats.
Kardashian? Isn't that an alien from Star Trek?
No?
Well, anyway.
Apparently whoever this is, might be Lara Croft in anew movie.
Just so you can appreciate her acting ability, here’s a picture of her cleavage.
Well done, Kotaku. You just proved Fox News right
Ever seen that video where Geoff Keighley defends Mass Effect’s sex scenes as not the focus of the game and argues they’re not “sex games” but scenes that work to compliment the storyline?
Well Kotaku just disregarded his entire argument and gave Fox News a big win by posting “Skip Alpha Protocol’s Foreplay, Go Right To The Sex.”
This video shows just...
A game ripped off a book's characters... or...
It’s hard to come up with humorous post for every single piece of shite Kotaku posts, so shut up and look intently at these images and pretend you’re not a sad fuck who needs to surround himself with completely unrealistic depictions of the opposite sex.
Kotaku, on the cutting edge of erotic Wii games
In this game, you massage people:
After massages are performed correctly, players are presented with images of the female clients in various poses (e.g., lounging on a beach in a bikini, playing golf while wearing a short skirt and a cleavage-bearing top, or straddling a motorcycle). Players can also move the camera and zoom in on the reward pictures.
Utterly classy, as I’m sure...
Spot the difference. Or just jack off to the...
A woman with red hair looks like another woman with red hair.
This is the basis for this entire post. Great work, folks.
Oh dear, Kotaku is publishing porn: This is...
People get attracted by this I can assume? School girls. Doesn’t sound illegal or absolutely fucking creepy at all.
Thanks, Kotaku.
Ashcraft continues his attack on intelligence with...
Apparently the fapping masses want porn in 3D. So, in order to further that pointKotaku has chucked up some pictures of naked Japanese girls.
Ashcraft then lists some of the “stars” that could occupy your pathetic 3D sessions. Note how he picks some of films that they’ve populated.
The voice of experience perhaps?
"Hey guys, reckon I can post this on our gaming...
This is a picture of Mila Jovovich “wet with guns”.
Take a good look at the image, then read the accompanying 35 WORDS, which has been tagged onto this post to justify its existence.
Can’t you just hear videogame journalism growing into a more respectable industry? Oh no, that was it throwing up all over itself.
THQ is hiring boothbabes. Kotaku is all over that...
THQ is hiring boothbabes.
THIS IS NEWS, APPARENTLY.
Is aid to this, Luke has given us a totally use relevant picture of a woman holding a hammer. THANKS, LUKE.
Yep, Kotaku is publishing porn: This doesn't have...
After a weekend of barely any porn, just like clockwork Kotaku is back to its old, and rather desperate tricks.
Here, we have a post about an iPhone app that looks at the mocked up underwear of celebrities. Why on earth you’d want to do this I don’t know (perhaps because you’re a lonely fuck with a pathetic need for any sort of female interaction?) but more puzzling is why...
May 2010
13 posts
Even Kotaku's ads are porn
Question: Why does Kotaku, a gaming site with a predominantly male audience, have ads for breast enlargements?
Answer: OH WAIT. Because it has pictures of naked women on it.
CLICKSCLICKSCLICKSCLICKS
Ugh, Kotaku is publishing porn: Statue porn. How...
Got totally unrealistic expectations about women? Think they live in this planet solely for the purposes of your own masturbation? Welcome to Kotaku.
This hour’s brand of lowest common denominator post comes from a statue of some game character in ridiculously exposing clothing. With in 3-4 minutes of this going live, the page has already gotten 6,000 odd hits.
Kotaku readers: like...
"Sorry, did you mention boothbabes? Get the...
Kotaku asks its readers whether PAX should remove its boothbabe ban.
Hmm, I wonder how the gawping masses will respond?
Of course, Kotaku is publishing porn: Charity...
“Hey, this is for charity!” you might decry. Unless they donate all of their 87,711 clicks to the said charity, it’s still KotakuPorn.
Here, some IGN writer makes a cast of her breasts.
Always in touch with his readers however, Crecente finishes the post with:
Sadly, I suspect that most of you just read “topless” yadayadayadayada.
Which, of course, he has only...
Inevitably, Kotaku is publishing porn:...
I go away for half a day and what happens? Well, you know.
In a story about Warcraft something or other, the actual content of the piece is sidelined here in Gawker’s click-tacular Gallery view, so you can get fantastic focus on these women dressed in scantly clad underwear. VIDEOGAMES!
Notice a total lack of explanation as to why these women are standing there. I presume their Warcraft...
Natrually, Kotaku is publishing porn: Adult DS...
Adult DS games, so you can jack off on the bus. It’s shit that they exist, but it’s shitter that the leading videogame blog sees the need to tell us about it.
Oh, and thanks Ashcraft for printing some of the game’s dialogue:
“Make love to me as hard as possible! Please! As hard as possible!!”
I should have named this blog “Is Ashcraft publishing porn...
Sigh, Kotaku is publishing porn: Upskirt...
Here’s a post which compares upskirt pictures of women in two different games. Be sure to get the real detail and click to zoom in. You wouldn’t want to miss all that virtual underboob and underwear. And maybe, if you click on all of Kotaku’s ads refresh the page 6,000 times, she’ll come out of the screen and have sex with you right now.
You can only assume that every time...
Yes, Kotaku is publishing porn: Lesbian anime =...
A charming post on Kotaku questions whether some game you don’t care about is coming out soon. Conclusion: no.
But don’t you dare think just reporting the facts is enough for Kotaku! It wouldn’t be an Ashcraft post unless it had two girls who are TOTALLYOVER18WESWEAR lying together, looking at each other suggestively.
Videogames!
Bukkake! GET IT.
YOU TOTALLY THOUGHT I MEANT THAT TYPE OF BUKKAKE, BUT REALLY IT’S JUST THIS FOOD STUFF. LOLOLOLOLOL.
AREN’T I SO FUCKING FUNNY.
Thanks, darkwhitehair.
Yes, Kotaku is publishing porn: IT'S LIKE MORTAL...
PUBLISHED.
Yes, Kotaku is publishing porn: Thin Japanese...
Well then, what’s this? Porn on Kotaku?
Ashcraft continues his career as a smut peddler videogame journalist with a “closer look” at what he describes as “the booth babes of the racing world”. Essentially skinny Japanese women trotted out before a race so the drooling men can touch themselves through their pockets.
So… what does this have to do with...
Yes, Kotaku is publishing porn: Look, hot cartoon...
Kotaku, a male oriented gaming website links to a Jezebel post, (a site aimed at women) which is talking about a Facebook role-playing game where:
The objective of Sorority Life is simple: to be the hottest sister on campus
So why is this on Kotaku?
“Look, hot cartoon girls, I could totally masturbate to that!”
And of course the chance for Kotaku readers (in all their...
May 25th: Yes, @Kotaku is publishing porn today.
Anime ass comparison porn.